Funny Videos

This isn’t the type of video that I normally post, but it has a great message.  The message is:  Positivity has the power to transform lives.  If you have a few minutes, check this video out.  It will be well worth your time!  Enjoy!!

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If you like what you see please Digg, Stumble and Subscribe to my RSS Feed.  There is much more great stuff to come!

Here are some courses for men taught by women and for women taught by men.  I put the courses for men first.  I mean I don’t need these classes but for the rest of the men out there.  And ladies no matter how perfect your gender is, your classes are second.

Courses for
Men and Women

Courses for Men

Taught by women, for men.

101	Combating Stupidity
102	You Too Can Do Housework
103	P.M.S. – Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
104	How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray
105	We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas – Give Us Money
106	Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM
107	Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly “Don’t Wash My  Silks”)
108	Parenting – No, It Doesn’t End With Conception
109	Get a Life – Learn How To Cook
110	How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong
111	Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right
112	Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
113	You – The Weaker Sex
114	Reasons To Give Flowers
115	How To Stay Awake After
116	Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom
117	Garbage – Getting It To the Curb
118A	You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try
118B	The Morning Dilemma – If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
119	The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous
120	How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
121	How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost
122	The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency
123	Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes
124	How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
125	You Too Can Be a Designated Driver
126	Honest, You Don’t Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
127	Changing Your Underwear – It Really Works
128	The Attainable Goal – Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary
129	Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is Not Necessary
130	Real Men Ask For Directions
131	How To Take Illness Like a Man

Courses for Women

Taught by men, for women.

101	Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
102	Doing Housework Without Complaining
103	Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
104	Going to The Washroom Alone (formerly Coping Without My Friends)
105	Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”
106	Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
107	Learning How to Initiate Intimacy
108	How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
109	Understanding the Male Response to “Am I Fat?”
110	Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
111	The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too
112	Using the Thesaurus: Alternatives to “Make Love”
113	“The Weekend” and “Long Boring Walks” Are Not Synonymous
114	How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him
115	The Remote Control: Don’t Touch What You Can’t Handle
116	You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone
117	Honest, You Don’t Look Like Kim Bassinger – But You’re Acceptable
118	Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem (formerly One Can Is Enough)
119	Runs In Your Nylons? It’s Not the End of the World
120	Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook
121	Intimacy: More Than Just Lying There
122	Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours
123	Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases
124	Makeup: The Less is More Theory
125	Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

Some “Senior” personal ads seen in Florida
newspapers: (Who says seniors don’t have a sense
of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired
beauty, 80’s, slim, 5′4″ (Used to be 5′6″), searching
for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who
has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for
someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks,
sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you
are the silent type, let’s get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with
original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share
rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like
to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still
like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick,
or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and
listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday
through Thursday. If you can remember Friday,
Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads
together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good
condition, some hair, many new parts including
hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running
condition, but walks well.

I saw this a while ago.  It’s a little sentimental but, it’s really something everyone deserves to read before they get married (or even after the honeymoon phase wears off).

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know What I was thinking. I want a divorce.

I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.

But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew.

I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house,

30% shares of my company and the car.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.

I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.

The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.

I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because

I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.

I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,

but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both

struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a

months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal

room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of

our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.

No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body

contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,

we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought

me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with

her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.

I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she

was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!

Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman

who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was

growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.

Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.

I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.

Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.

Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.

I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs.

Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.

Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I

didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more.

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed

the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.

I smiled and wrote: ‘I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart’

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.

It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters.

These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say

We teach some more by what we do

But we teach most by what we are

You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Remember:

people will forget what you said …

people will forget what you did …

but people will never forget how you made them feel …

-Will